i am determined to keep your decrees to the very end.

^{Psalm 119:105-112}

Your word is a lamp to guide my feet

    and a light for my path.

¹⁰⁶ I’ve promised it once, and I’ll promise it again:

    I will obey your righteous regulations.

¹⁰⁷ I have suffered much, O Lord;

    restore my life again as you promised.

¹⁰⁸ Lord, accept my offering of praise,

    and teach me your regulations.

¹⁰⁹ My life constantly hangs in the balance,

    but I will not stop obeying your instructions.

¹¹⁰ The wicked have set their traps for me,

    but I will not turn from your commandments.

¹¹¹ Your laws are my treasure;
    they are my heart’s delight.

I am determined to keep your decrees    
      to the very end.


I've been asking the Lord what season I'm in. In the beginning of the semester, my co-leaders and I got to see that it was a battle ahead that we were going to be facing for LG. I mean of course the devil is scared when he sees men and women rising up for the Kingdom and raising a new generation up to lead and follow Jesus! He is going to create confusion and chaos. BUT! The battle belongs to the Lord = we are victorious. We know the end of the story.


But personally for myself, it's been a battle raging every second of the day. It's been so draining that classes have been my time to "log out" of the spiritual battles and personal struggles. I guess it's a time of growth. A time of war. Raging on the inside, outside, and all around.


It's hard.


Sometimes I ask God if he's really sure I can handle all of this. Then there's 2 Cor 12:9. Jesus is so sweet. 


I want to come away with him. Asap. Jesus. What am I still doing so distant from you? I don't want you to be a familiar stranger to me. I want the fullness of knowing you in intimacy. More of You. 


I only want You. Anything else will not matter Jesus. Really. 


Love you to the max. Help me draw even closer. Closer. Closer.


You say that the one who leads a blameless life and does what is right, the one who speaks truth from sincere hearts, the one who refuses to gossip or harm their neighbors or speak evil of their friends, those who KEEP THEIR PROMISES EVEN WHEN IT HURTS. These are the ones who can worship IN YOUR SANCTUARY, THOSE WHO MAY ENTER YOUR PRESENCE ON YOUR HOLY HILL. (Psalm 15).


I want to be that person.


I want to bask in your presence Jesus. All of my life. All the rest of my life till you finally take me to you.


:)


You are worthy of my life. 

Unoffended - 4/4/2012

Jesus, I don't see your face, I can't feel your hand... And I don't see anything in this. I can't see your plan... I don't know how it will work out. I am lost. I don't understand what you're doing. God. But I will be Unoffended and I will trust you.

I'll find you at the place I'm at
I'll find you in my brokenness
Find you when I've got nothing to offer you.

I find myself broken now Jesus. I find nothing in me. I'm tired. I'm weary. I'm thirsty. I'm still searching. And it's hard. It's painful.

But you will prove yourself faithful through the storms of life. My hope in you will never be shaken. My joy in You will not be stolen. My love for you will increase through this storm. Because you cover and protect me and look out for me even more in times like these.

You lift me up. You'll never leave me thirsty.

I will choose to trust. I will choose to believe. I will choose joy. I will choose hope. I will choose to accept your love and to look for others to show your love to.

God, it's painful and it hurts. I don't like it. I don't like the pain. But I will carry on til I come to the place you want me at. No matter how many times it has to happen, you have something better in the end. You have something to teach me and i will look back someday and know that you were carrying me through all this junk.

You are good. You are beautiful. You have more of my heart today. And you will have more of me tomorrow. And more the next...

:)

He's my rock and my deliverer! My ever present help in time of need!

In the secret, in the quiet place.

I want to know you more, Jesus. I want to meet with you everyday in the quiet place and encounter you every day. I need you. Now more than ever.

I want to know you and the secrets of your heart. I want to know your love, your faithfulness, goodness, kindness, everything.

f.r.i.e.n.d.s

Grateful for those you've placed around me who honor and love me and who want the best for me. Thankful for them for always protecting me and looking out for me.

:)

You guys set the standard. :)

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